THURSDAY, MAY 9TH:
Townies, it's our last day of school. The Darcy kids are throwing a party tonight to kick off the summer of champions. You're gonna wanna be there... Never a good idea to miss a Darcy party.
I excitedly entered the familiar Darcy Residence with a big smile on my face. I have been here many times before some of these memories I was fond of others I rather bury deep inside of my heart.
"Drinks ?",Tristan asked me.
"I though I was a terrible drunk ?",I said snappy. He laughed at that "You are right",he said. I pulled a face.
"I am going to socialise,you get drunk or something. I am being responsible adult for today",I told him.
"Thank you sister",he said and with that disappeared.
I wanted him to have fun,and of course Tristan was one of my dearest friends but I wanted to find Holden and Tristan couldn't stand him and me together,so Tristan had to go.
I spotted Holly from a mile away "Holly .Holly",I yelled. She turned around and she gave me the sort of "Who are you again" look.
"It's me Arya",I said excited. She squinted a little but a smile briefly flashed over her face but just briefly.
"Yeah I remember you. We sat next to each other in all through middle school right?",she said. I nodded happily.
"You moved away to New York,didn't you ?",she asked me. I nodded again " Do you not remember that time you came down to Jenna Ma's birthday? We spend in hour together trying to get in the bathroom",I said trying to trigger her memory. She looked at me confused.
"I vaguely recall that",she said. I was kind of disappointed by that response but I kept on smiling.
"Anyways it's nice to see you again",I proceeded and finally here she gave me an actual smile.
We then preceded to talk about random things,a little about New York but not much she seemed a little uncomfortable about that subject,the conversation ended swiftly after that and escaped. I don't know if I had done anything wrong. But I like Holly. Hopefully we could become friends.
"Arya",I heard a voice call me,My face lit up in an instant when I saw Holden coming my direction.
"Holden",i said happily and run into his arms. He hugged me tightly and picked me up to swirl me around. It was one of our many childish ways.
He put me down and pulled me face close to his.
"I have missed this stupid face",he whispered. And scrunched up my nose and grinned. I kissed his nose ,quickly as if I had stolen something with a mischievous grin plastered on my face.
"I have missed you so much more Holden Darcy",I replied. He put his arm around me and we wandered around the party finding a place to talk.
"How long have you been in town ?",Holden asked me while sipping on some beer.
"A couple of days",I replied. He looked offended.
"And you did not bother to find me? To contact me ? I thought I was your favourite person",I said.
I felt something in me. It kind of hurt. I didn't know what it was but this pain happened often with Holden.
"What gave you that idea ?",I said trying to be cheeky. He laughed at my response. He brushed strand of my hair behind my ears.
"Do you really want me to say it out loud,what gave you away ?,he said. I went bright red. He was amused by that and laughed again. I looked away.
"I am going to be right back,kiddo. Stay put",he said and disappeared into the crowds of people. I watched him walk away from me. I always watch him walk away from me.
15 minutes later and Holden has still not returned. I stood there starting to feel stupid. And silly but most of all I felt horrible about myself. This always happens with him but I can't help myself. I bit my lip, I was growing more anxious. He was not returning to me, because I wasn't important. I decided to sit down ,so I plonked myself next to a tall ,tanned girl who was downing something. "Hi,I am Arya",I introduced myself. If we were going to share the couch might as well make friends with her. She looked at me taken aback at first with my hand offering to shake hers but she took the offer. She looked at me and then responded " I'm Amari",she said and I smiled brightly only for her face to respond to that smile.
Amari then proceeded to tell me about herself and I told her all about my grand plans of the summer.I let out my plan to get with Holden to me but I told her everything else. I was starting to become very fond of her. She seemed like the type of girl I could spend all summer with making fun of people and break into old abandon houses with. Her phone started buzzing but she did not respond at first "Your phone",I said.
She looked bewildered before retrieving the phone to check who it is. She had a strange look on her face and I decided that perhaps I should go ,so I did.
I started to feel more and more upset about Holden disappearance and usually I would go and find Tristan and get drunk and have a good old time but I just felt shitty.
I decided to head for the door ,I needed some air and clear my head.
I sat on those familiar steps just outside the door,like I have done so many times before. Contemplating why I was doing this to myself. Holden wasn't even that good to you. But there was something about the smile
he would give me ,and the way he would say my name. But most importantly it was about the way he would kiss me. Yeah it was the way he embraced me that made me think that he perhaps loves me but maybe i was just fooling myself. But I put my brave face on. I got my positivity back up. And smiled. Because everyone loves a girl with a smile. I headed back inside.
As i attempted to go back in I almost slammed into a slender dark haired girl.
“Oh sorry!” I exclaimed said. The girl turned around and said "It's cool", I smiled kindly.
"Im Arya" I introduced myself ,“Indiana Sky” she nodded with a smile. “Oh!! You are the girl from the old Wessloh mansion, it’s a beautiful house, one of the prettiest” I recalled. “How do you know my house?” Indiana asked me intrigued. “Once when it was for sale, and there was nobody living there me and a friend entered through the beach, we just wanted to see it, its beautiful” ,I told her. One of my many hobbies back then was breaking and perhaps entering into the abandon houses. They were so pretty. I now that was against the law and all but I wasn't really occupying the rooms or staying there or anything. Most of the times we just run around ,played hide and seek or got drunk on their back yards. It was all innocent stuff. “Oh yeah, it’s a great place, im more of city lover, but hey, everyone here is drunk by 2pm” Indiana joked. I laughed and that's when I spotted Holden walking towards us. I was trying hard to control my expression. Look happy.
He smiled at me widely,I felt a twinge of happiness and disgust towards that action. “Who do we have here?” he said, throwing his arm around me.
“Holden Darcy this is Indiana Sky, she lives in the Wessloh Mannor” I introduced them to each other. “Nice to meet you” Holden said and his tone was more then friendly. He kept looking her up and down,clearly obviously checking her out. I grabbed him closer and whispered into his ear " Where did you go earlier". I felt rude towards Indiana but I had to kind of give her the vibe that I liked this boy and that I would have appreciated her not to get with him. She was pretty and attractive. More attractive then I was. She seemed cool and adventures and someone that I felt Holden would have preferred to me. Because I am just a nice sweet girl to everyone. I was a bad drunk yeah and occasionally adventures but to Holden I was just a sweet girl. And I was sick of that.
Indiana seemed have gotten the hint and walked away quickly. Holden didn't really answer my question and just mumbled about going to get something to drink and then I disappeared or something. He called me babe and tried to wrap his arm around me and I let him for a second and then I pulled away and looked at him.
"What?",he asked me confused. I took a deep breath out. "Nothing",I said,my smile fading.
"I am going to get you something to drink",he said and kissed me on the head. I watched him walk away from me. Again. I always watch him walk away from me.
My mood was increasingly turning sour and as I walked around trying to find Tristan or someone who was a friend. I saw him Holden talking or should I more say flirting with Indiana. I bit my lip. I liked her,why did he have to hit on her. I felt like now I hated her and I didn't want to. I didn't want to feel jealous. I didn't want to feel useless. I felt pathetic. I turned away from the scene.
I was downing my 4th shot of Sambuca when my brother found me drinking with some friends from school who had embraced my return. Tristan took the vodka out of my hand."Don't mix your drinks",he warned me. I giggled happily.
"I am trying to attain a spiritual drunkness my dear",I told him. He asked me to get up and go outside.
"I thought you wanted to be a responsible adult today,how much did you have to drink?",he asked me warningly. "A bit..a lot",I laughed again. He shook his head.
"But are you alright?",he asked me again. I looked at him,pulling his cute little face closer.
"If something was wrong you would be the first to know. I just wanted to have a good time",i lied.
He looked at me "I believe you. But I want you to sit here for a bit and sober up okay. I am not going to mother you because you hate that but wait at least 40 minutes before drinking more okay",he said. I nodded happily. "Find me if you need me",he said and kissed me cheek lovingly like he did.
I didn't want to lie to Tristan but I didn't want to tell him about my pathetic feelings. I did as I was told and sat there as he headed back inside. I didn't like to be mothered by him and I was glad that tonight he decided to let me be. "Hey",a girl said who plonked herself next to me. I turned and smiled.
'Hey",I replied. She was pretty in a strange way but nevertheless still pretty. "Arya",I introduced myself.
"Sephora",she said and smiled at me,I returned that smile.
"You okay?",she asked me.
I looked at her confused. "You crying while smiling",she pointed out. I didn't even realise.
I wiped my tears away and let that smile disappear of my face.
"Boys are stupid",I told her. She kind of laughed at that. We sat there in silence looking out to the happening of the party around us. There was Holden. My face changed when I saw him. That happy face that I try to keep plastered there at all times appeared even though I really didn't like it.
"Wow,you are smiling again. You almost look happy. But I know you are sad",Sephora noticed.
My eyes were fixed on Holden. My whole being was begging for him to see me. "Is that him",she asked me. I somehow nodded.
"He once told me he hated to see my crying face. He told me he found girls who were always upset and let on something was wrong annoying. So I pretend nothing was wrong",I confessed. She looked at me.
"But it seems that something is very wrong",she told me before leaving me be and perhaps actually enjoying herself. I watched him and as always I watched him walk away from me. I always watch him walk away from me.